Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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