we're chasing vodka with high fives
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
