Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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