Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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(516): View more from New York

My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

(940): View more from Texas

homeless.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly

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(872): View more from Illinois

mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning

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(860): View more from Connecticut

drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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(802): View more from Vermont

He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say

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