Nicole vs. Life
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us