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• (503): View more from Oregon

  never play flip cup with pint glasses

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  ...yet.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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• (646): View more from New York

  there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.

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