Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?