Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.