Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(972): View more from Texas

Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(831): View more from California

Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.

(1-661): View more from California

1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up

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(941): View more from Florida

Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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(407): View more from Florida

If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together

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