Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (446)
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  (323): View more from California

  how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.

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  (323): how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs. http://tfl.nu/c8lq
  Replies (9) Good night (2103) Bad night (783)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (27581) Bad night (2658)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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  (972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s
  Replies (34) Good night (3164) Bad night (866)
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  (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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  (650): I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats. http://tfl.nu/rm40
  Replies (42) Good night (14164) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

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  (413): I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date. (215): You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds. http://tfl.nu/2p7v
  Replies (38) Good night (5926) Bad night (1052)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  But I thought everyone had breakup sex?

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  (703): But I thought everyone had breakup sex? http://tfl.nu/04j7
  Replies (24) Good night (5074) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1240) Bad night (4463)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.

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  (515): His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him. http://tfl.nu/q8r5
  Replies (10) Good night (3601) Bad night (1042)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.

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  (734): We found a swing set....it's in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/rzxv
  Replies (7) Good night (2281) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait

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  (617): I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship (617): Wait http://tfl.nu/k9zo
  Replies (5) Good night (2528) Bad night (964)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.

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  (816): It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/dx67
  Replies (5) Good night (1406) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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  (+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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  (785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1199) Bad night (336)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year

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  (775): Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year http://tfl.nu/wpi9
  Replies (9) Good night (267) Bad night (512)

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