Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(325): View more from Texas

how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit

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(314): View more from Missouri

I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Run away.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong

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(949): View more from California

I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?

(540): View more from Virginia

One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...

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(319): View more from Iowa

My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...

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