I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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