My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
