i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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