I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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