My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
