For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
