So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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