This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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