I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
