last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
