is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
