so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize