After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
