Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
