oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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