After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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