She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize