dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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