If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
