Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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