ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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