I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
