3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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