Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
