We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love you. Go after that dick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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