i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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