He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
