I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
