I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
