I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
