talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
