I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
