She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
These tits shall not be calmed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
