remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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