I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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