I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
