I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think people are normalizing furries
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
