the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
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Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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