just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
