Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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