He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
