from now on my penis is your penis
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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