i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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