I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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