I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
