@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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