this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
