Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
