This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
